Waiting for the Hammer to Fall

 Molly S. Maleficarum

Strange names, indeed

 Barbara Nomen

Ready or not, here she comes.

 Heidi-Anne Sique

Normal Lisa Trapp

Are you the Gatekeeper?

 Romana Clef

Stay Sexy, Don't Get Murdered

 Emma Femme

Mishka Tonic

Clea Taurus

Alone: bad. Friend: good.

Elsa Karlov

She tickles.

Penna Feder

"But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born..."

Lauren Ipsum

Worth shelling out for her movies

Kara Paice

Now, if Vivid had hired Stan Lee...

Exelle Sciorra

Wild Youth

Jennie-Rae Shonex

"she's got it all - woh-oh"

Kardia Etanima

Starring in many streaming videos...

Arethusa LaFontaine

She was around here someplace...

Lauren ver Hoop

She's always willing to discuss things.

Shyre Moot

"... the reason why, I cannot tell..."

Nona Motay

Over and done with.

Fay Taccompli

"It's nine o'clock on a Saturday..."

Pia Noman

Seems like they never give her an even break.

Trixie Phelan

"Gonna rock my soul...."

Joyce Milneburgh

Winding things up, eventually.

Penelope Shroud

Misfit

Peg Piazza

"Now the dark days are gone..."

Sunni Phaeton

Her force is strong, to boldly go...

Stella Warstrek

"Some folks like to get away..."

Ila Venwye

Little Miss Dangerous

Kata Strephein
Demi Ourgos

Smoking hot, naturally.

Calumet Glass

She got her name from the top of a cola can.

Mahime Orianyct

Just marvelous.

Toni Starks
Peta Parker
Jaymee Howlette
Carly Zavier
Erika Lennzare
Rita Richards
Jana Storm
Stephie Rodgers
Vikki von Dume (with an umlaut over every single vowel, dammit.)
Shawna Cassidy

Okay, their performances are a little cheesy.

Casey-Anne Romano
Vera Parmigiana

"Man, this movie is just like a fashion catalog, or something.."

Amber Crombie
Ann Fitch

She's got some merry men, all right.

LaVerne Sherwood

A Roads scholar, no doubt

Georgia Asphalt

Contract actresses for Six Nations Pictures

Erin Banber
Kymry Gwalen
Scottie Albine
Kerna Poltrepen
Bretania Francis
Isla Mannix
Galicia DeSpain

"Warning. Live without warning."

June Omoneta

Inconceivable.

Florinne Guilder

"You could be my lady and have my baby and drive my car and drive me crazy."

Brooklyn Carter

"She has gone where fierce indignation may lacerate her heart no more."

Vanessa Decanus

Unsure how much blame/credit I can take.

Apparently in the past year, a porn actress has taken the name Jenny Hendrix.

http://gwbaans.blogspot.com/2006/10/and-for-you-guitar-fans.html - I suggested the more typical spelling of "Hendricks", but, I am not one to quibble.

Some walk by night, some fly by day

Lucia di Luna

Turning the Table, momentarily.

All very well, Mr. Smart-Aleck UIM, but what names would you choose for yourself, had you followed on your urge to chuck it all (after 4StringQueen) and move out to the San Fernando Valley?

Honestly, my own birth name would serve me well in the adult narrative industry, but, assuming I wanted my family to keep speaking to me, I might have chosen any of the following:

Dash Chandler
Stan Dard-DeViance
Marc Tully
Dan T. Alighieri
Ovine Noir
Cooke Hullen
Jack Dugginn
Sean Thornton, Jr.
H. C. Mann
Rowland Stone
"Killer" Rabbitt
Gawain Smith
Ben Phoenix
B. F. Pearse
Rex Quondam

She's sore.

Soleil Byrnes

Severe. So Severe

Justice Brehon

Another sister act

Vina & Denise Backus

No, her middle name isn't "Rhode"

Bonnie Price

We're quibbling about definitions.

Samantha DeSpute

I think Heart had a song about her on "Brigade"

Arda Dubh-Glass

"What the heck do we need with a horse that big?"

Donna Ferentes

"She's crafty... she's just my type."

Lupana Fleece

Seize her!

Gail La Bracciata

"We'll walk in fields of gold."

Lea Meadowes

Another good little Catholic girl gone astray, no doubt

Trinity Sonntag

Knockoff brands

Wasabi Poole
Electra Poole

Sings beautifully

Fionnuala Swann

North-sider, of course.

Ursula Cubbs

Her specialty - wearing a slave Leia costume

Salatia Stung

I know - she's a cute little heartbreaker.

Kitsune Reynard

Heavenly

Arcadia Ettin

What's due is due.

Paytha Scott

No, she's got proof she's not a miner.

Cymry Welsh

She's really got me, now.

Rayla Davies

No, even I can't come up with a joke for this.

Pila Keras

Look, I forget what this one means, too.

Amalthea Hyde

Stiff upper lips?

Deva Chester
Cicestra Bishop

Too long in exile

Vanna Morrison

"We'll fly..."

Nell Blu-DiPinto

Getting a Little Seasonal Spirit

Felice and Blanca Navidad, sisters
Carole Zatta-Spinnet
Nita and Mary Liddell-Krzmyz, sisters, and their cousin, Alhava Blue-Krzmyz
Wendy Slauss
Fiesta Stevens
Jacqueline Frost
Orestia Tannenbaum (of course, she only uses her first initial)
Mary Gentle-Menn
Natalie Buono
Gloria and Anne Excelsis-Dayeau, sisters.

And now for something completely repetitive....

Michelle Palin
Jane Cheese
Terri Guillaume
Terrie Jones
Erica Idyll
Grainne Chapman
Carole Columbus

Looks a little bit like Jane Badler, of course.

Diana von Eidechse

"She bravely bravely ran away..."

Robin della Pollo

A lot of people are told to kiss her.

Mia Estremita.

"If the words sound queer, and funny to your ear.."

Two sisters and their half-sister:

Yegua Comen-Avena
Cierva Comen-Avena
Corderita Comen-La Hiedra

They wear fedoras, of course .

Shawna Karristone

Thrometha Idol

Two from the Geology Department

Katie Boundary
Shale Burgess

Oh, she's tasty....

Kay Sabrosa.

After reading "The Messianic Legacy," it was so obvious....

Pauline Christian

"...and some sweat when the heat is on... "

Daphne Josephine Kane

Doing much better since her teeth were capped

Shannon McGowan

Should have been an early porn star

Austra La Pithecas

Unfortunately, she starts every line with, 'Weyull, pilgrim..."

Marianne Morrisson

A surprisingly good person

Samantha Mariton

Thankfully polite

Mircea Boku

Smiling at inappropriate moments....

Shay Denfroyde

She'll make your hair stand on end.

Gennie Van der Graaf

Always in the ladies' room

Sally DeBain

Unclear which one is in charge

Angela Micelli
Samantha Bower

Speaking officially....

Cathy Drayex

A two-person dance act like Blondage, but more electrifying....

Nicole Tesla
Tessa Coyle

Prolong sound through reflection

Reza Nance

"Don't try to understand 'em; just rope, throw, and..."

Marcia Brand

A favorite on SNL

Skit Quesaroso

Let's face it, folks, ya can't....

Tori Quemada

"Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale...."

Essex Minogue

She finishes quickly.

Minette Reiss

You must remember these.

Louise Renault
Erika Blaine
Ilsa Laszlo

"I represent Queens; she was raised out in Brooklyn..."

Fyfe Burrows

"Kickstart my heart; give it a shove...."

Electra Cardiolle

She cancels a lot.

Nell Envoide

Rude Girl

Ina Probriette

Sleeping Beauty, of course.

Katya Knapp

"Honey, you forgot something..."

Kolya Beck

Just thankful to be here.

Aubrey Gaddeaux

Don't get too close.

Pressa Pierce

Send her films when you want to help someone

Keira Backidge

Above reproach

Callie Pernia

Winner, and still champeen

Vicca Ludi

For the Prog-Rock fans....

Cosi Powell
Palma Emerson-Laiken

Implants, naturally.

Celia Cohan

"excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures; intemperance"

Deb Autry

"Can't stay at home; can't stay at school."

Cheryl Baume

C'mon, you knew the Arthurian references were only a matter of time....

Sortinda Stone
Holly Grayle
Mallory Thomas
Gwen Gramarye
Penni Drakan

.... too horrible a pun to explain.....

Charmaine Prince

For the English Historians...

Lea Bosworth
Magda Carter

It wasn't a rock.....

Petra Langosta

A studious lass.

Kinzie Rapport

She'll save the day for someone....

Deyasse X. McKenna

No, they haven't been to Canterbury.

Wanda Prilia
Melodie Machen

Bright and clear and dangerous

Shar Douglass

For the French Historians....

Carla Martel
Carol Ingian

A bit of a ding-a-ling

Belle Tinabula

O-Chem major in college.

Lana-Jayne Molokyul

They'll eventually form Pomme D'Amour Studios....

Jane Lennon
Rene Starkey
Georgia Arrowsohn
Paula Michelle Hartney

... at which point they will hire:

Michelle McBell
Tamara Neve Renault
Hester Skeldar
Tikka DeRite
Dinah Hangibmir and Ivana Holger-Hann (cousins, of course)
Itza Tagsmann
Jalissa B. Mareen
Judith Haye
Diane Thallife
Ada E. Saweke
Ella Noir Igby
Mila V. Canby
Wendy Groat-Langdon
D. A. Tripper
Lucinda Skye McDiamond
Sheila Vzyu (yeah, yeah, yeah....)

(Addendum: Some later ones added by Schooner and myself.)

And for you guitar fans....

Jenny Hendricks
Erika Lapden
Arlene Guthrie

And for you bibliophiles, let's play.... Shpot.. the Ref'rence!!!

Estelle Pirrip
Simone Temblor
Katrina Verona
Juliet Montague
Minette Harker
Lucy Esdenraugh
Roberta Stephenson
Radhia Gibling
Maria Spenser
Kitty Marlowe
Thysteene DeThueres
Roelle Duke
Cordelia Lear

She'll leave you feeling tapped out.

Mana Burns

Of course, she'd be raven-haired.

Athena Pallas

Guess which one weighs more.

Denise Zavdamani

Denise Zavdavyu

No, she doesn't make shoes.

Lee Prekonde

Her scenes are paradise

Tyrna Nock

You just want to collect all her movies.

Bruja de la Costa

She used to be a riverboat gambler

Delia Kartes

Smile - you're on 'secret picture-taking device'

Ellen Funt

C'est soir?

Shay Avecmoi

Another hopeless romantic

Cyndi Esperanza

Can't refuse her.

Cora Lyonne

The Next Great Geek Chick

Cygnelle DeNoyes

Working at the....

Carrie Walsh

That's so raven

Brenda Corbeau

Always up before sunrise.

Rosie Fingdrios

Not that innocent....

Bretania Pilum

...just drawn that way.

Jessica Coney

"Let me call you sweetheart.."

Deirdre Accushla

A pretty little flower...

Susan Ojonegro

Political activists in their spare time.

Fiona Fall
Dala Rann

She'll steal your heart... if it's shiny.

Maggie Pye

Always spoiling for a fight.

Morrgan Crow

She's got a dry sense of humor.

Sara Graffee

Just a copy-sex-kitten

Mimi O'Grath

Mary, Mary, why you buggin'?

Magda Lynne

Pop quiz, smart guy.

Tess Texamme

Why is that crowned guy standing on her?

Tara Liafail

Two Irish lasses

Lynn Douve
Dublin Darkpoole

Class-y lady.

Linnea Charles

Another goddess

Vayna Random

Clap if you believe in porn stars.

Fay Sidhe

She's bound to do well

Rebecca MacNaisc

So, how does it feel?

Jana Wenner

She just shouldn't swim in Lake Superior

Edna Fitzgerald

Howl for her.

Erin MacTirna

There can be only one?

Alba Scott

Didn't she direct 'The Quiet Woman'?

Seanna Baileath

Depending on the kindness of strangers.....

Bianca da Silva

Yes, there have been porn versions of Hamlet.....

Rosanne Krantz
Gilda-Anne Sterne

A little princess

Dawn Nevada

"Abba-dabba-dabba-dabba..."

Melissa Selene

A social butterfly

Giselle Schaft

Doe-eyed.

Fawn Buck

Fuuny, but deadly

Connie Wilkes

A bit scary, actually.

Helena Lovecraft

Tree-huggin' bunny-lover

Flora Enfauna

No, most of the jokes are little worse than I want to do here.

Petra L'yaume

"Come on and talk to me...."

Bonita Cosa-Jueve

Sex symbol.

Marianne de France

A fan of early Sabbath

Dolce Foglio

She listens to Ted Nugent albums

Regina Silva

"All the boys wanna dance with..."

Dulcita Diaz y Seis

From Cincinnatti

Lucia Quintus

Big hair.

Isla Larga

She listens to a lot of Stevie Nicks songs.

Gitana Tzigane

She's always hunting for a good part.

Diana Archer

From Texas, of course.

Rose Amarillo

Dark and mysterious

Cher Oscuro

No, never gets a starring role.

Gabrielle Hayes

Yeah, she's a rookie....

Chartreuse Verdi

In a purple leotard

Denise Concord

Intoxicating

Maeve Borracho

She made her decision, and it's done.

Aleae St. Jacta

It's all Greek to me.

Cybele Pastore

Another friendly one.

Amy DeCoeur

One small step....

Nell Armstrong

Yeah, she likes networking.

Teema Nyx

She reads the metals prices on the financial pages.

Inga Gould

She auditoned for a bit part in "Doom"

Celia Fate

Such a sweetie.

Dextra Malltos

She's friendly and interested in you.

Aya Dwynne

I think she was an econ major in college.

Lynette Proffitt

Obviously an anthro major in college

Venus Willendorf